Exploding all over my living room

I NEED TO EXPLODE!!

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I'm done with yet more button bashing

I want it to be next Saturday im really looking forward to it and I don't want to do the week anymore, my ocds are getting worse, I've noticed over the last few days and they are destroying my creativity and my mood, I feel like im losing myself, that im beginning to become nothing more than a series of weird and wonderful quirks, I know I am a very odd person, one that people like to be around, likes to talk to but now.....
I want to sit down and just get rid of the one thing that's holding me back from being myself, but to do that I destroy myself.

I like my quirks, I like being odd, I like being me.
But I hate how I make myself feel, other people can make me happy with few words....

Along with the other things I have learnt about myself, on Friday I also noticed something else that has the potential to make me very very happy but yet I cant allow myself to do it, doing it is going against myself but so is not, I don't know what to do anymore.

*goes to explode in the living room*
thanks for reading please comment if you do I like seeing what people think

bye