Smiley Post ish

Today has been a good day very good if you consider the fact that I started my exams today, I miss someone a lot and not who I expected to miss either for a lot of time I have maybe I will sort that out maybe I won't I don't know the thing that's so odd is I shouldn't be missing them I should be missing someone else.

Anyway, Good day because I sorted all that stuff out in my head, I know what I will do, I like my idea a lot, booking my driving test which is awesome but I'm not telling anyone when it is, I got all the money I need for stuff, tax man owed me moneys and I got the cheque today for it all which is totally awesome. It means I can go out and buy a car soon and buy an I-phone hopefully by the 11th.

My parents want me to go on holiday but I really don't want to go, I hate the idea of a holiday and taking me to a place that will be surrounded by little children and chavs is not my idea of relaxing. Why would I want to go to some country that has the same problems as ours? and go to the place in the country that has the kind of people I hate with a passion? I mean if I wanted to go on holiday it would be to get away from the crap we have here not go to another country just to experience it in the warm and in a denser environment.

As I said yesterday Hindsight is not for looking back and dreaming its for looking forward and creating. I want to use my experiences of my past to learn from and start creating my future that's constructive, I may or may not write a blog about all my mistakes its sat in my drafts incomplete but I feel that saying some stuff will dig up harshness and some people will see me for who I was and not who I am.

I'm changing and I don't know what I want to do but I shall do what feels right at the time and that goes for everything and mostly that, last night I nearly did something that if I had I would have regretted in the morning thanks to Aimee for stopping me seriously. As much as I'm still thinking about it a lot, If I had done it last night it would have been out of anger and confusion not the right reasons when anything like that pops up again I'm going for a walk and turning my phone off.

I like myself sometimes and I think I've killed "him" I haven't heard from him since I grew up last night. I'm proud of myself for the first time in my life. I can't tell you how happy that makes me feel.

^_^