Noise of doom

There was just a noise from upstairs I think I should be concerned but strangely im not at all.

My day has been fairly content-less with regards to this blog but never fear I will have some as tomorrow I am at work. Well…

I do have content but it’s not fair at all to post any of that here, I basically sorted a lot with an old friend I kind of fell out with and I feel great about it. I have missed them a lot and finally I’m getting somewhere not too far but a good start to regaining a brilliant friendship, I also realised how much I have grown up just in the last few days, My future is so important now and I could have done so much better in my results sure they got me into uni, on the course I would have done anyway but I could have got A’s If I could have been arsed, sure I would still have done a foundation degree but it would give me something to fall back on and I was stupid not to try harder, anyone that is in the first year of sixth form or college and hasn’t done as well as expected, don’t sit there and become complacent, work, try harder and get the grades you can get, sure I got into uni and im overjoyed about it but I’m still kicking myself in the arse because I could have done so much better if only I tried so if you read this blog and believe in one thing I say let it be this try your hardest at everything, otherwise you get a huge feeling of self pity and negative energy. I may feel like it now but I’m turning the negative energy into an amazing feeling called hard work, commitment and results, do the same or you will kick yourself.

I miss my boys like mad fish boy got back today and I have spoke to him but it’s not the same without both of them.

I miss them.

I miss Becky too.

I miss a lot of things in fact and I want them all But I can’t have them anyhow bed soon up in like 9 hours for work.

*End of transmission*

I owe fia a veyron

.... if I win the jackpot on the Euro millions on Saturday.

hehe

Today has been brilliant, I got accepted into Brighton university and work was OK. Talked with Jon abut drinking and addictions was interesting but we where basically filling time because otherwise we would have been bored shitless.

Today in Horsham what did I do, other than burn my hands?

Well...
Not much I decided it would be a good idea to make an Olympic torch, however it turns out setting alight a metro and running around with it is:
A)Stupid
B)A great way to attract attention
C)A way to generate heat
D)A great way to find out that flames can hurt a lot
E)A way to melt said converses when you stamp on it.

Other than that just nearly kill myself with my diablo a few times

So far

Today I have:

Applied for loans.
I need this to finance my car its more of an advance on wages though if im honest as Its a small amount to which I can pay back within a few months but its the money I need to begin with to buy a car, so its not such a big deal.
Applied for a grant and student fee loan.
Basically I am entitled to a loan for my fees and a grant due to my wages last year, which I shall use to pay my fees off rather than spend it elsewhere.
Applied for a student account at NatWest.
I will use this as my main account when it is set-up, its very good account with an overdraft etc etc and use my account at abbey solely as my savers account.

I did all this from the very seat I am sat in now, it was very very boring but at least I didn't have to trail across the town to places I could stay nice and warm. I'm feeling a lot better now that I have sat down and thought about ways to control my money its almost all sorted I just need to wait for companies to get back to me so that I can arrange the final details then woo! done. I may have also extended my loan a little to be able to afford an I-phone but that's not the point now is it?

hehe

Im moderatley soaked

YES I HAVE MONEY PROBLEMS WOOOO!

Cars are expensive little buggers and it's the largest purchase of my life, I need money anyone want to donate a few million to me? I'm a University student going to study engineering, I have no doubt I can make anything work if I truly believe in it, I have that kind of compulsion to give 150% to everything that I want to do. I could make you millions with millions but hey right now I'm buggered even if I did get 11million tomorrow for instance I would still have to work, I would have to work or I would lose my mind in boredom, I now know where I want to be in a few years time and I know around about how to get there, I'm going to work on it until its finsihed and then I will dance very very quickly when it is done.

Today was a massive arguement that left me on no-speaking terms with my mother, which has never happened before I think I should say, it was about money and my lack of it, all because a cheque bounced basically I got shot in the foot. Theres nothing I can do about it but if I can find a job that pays £600+ per month I will be fine for now and everything will go to plan as I had expected I took a wage drop at my current job as well as a hour drop so now only bring back £400 per four weeks so I can't survive on the money I'm on now as I need that everymonth to pay for everything I need and obviously I need some play money as well as some petrol money to actually get places.

SO tommorrow I shall call the staples in horsham and hope they can give me the hours I need, If not I think I may explode and I will have to seek a completely new job that isnt with staples, it would be a shame to leave staples but theres not alot I can do if I'm honest if they can't provide me with the hours and money I need then I have no choice but to leave, also today I signed into brighton university intranet and found exam dates and the timetable for me, I paniced a little, when the dates didn't coninside with this years days for those dates but then I worked out the space that they where incorrect and worked out it was last year so the panic was over, though it looks as if I need to take exams at the end of august for a course I havn't yet studied which is a bit consering but I'm sure I will be fine.

It's a shame my parents are not into the internet as if they where they would see this and understand that I am alot more calculated than they believe I am, I speak more openly on here about what I want to do with my life because this is the way I constructed my mind whereas If I was to directly tell people It would make no sence what so ever.

I MISS BECKY LIKE MAD!
WHY IS GAVIN NOT AROUND!!!
NEMO ARGH!
LIZZIE ARGH!
EVEN FIA ISN'T ONLINE!!!!

Yesterday I did start an image and spent three hours working on it though, its nice but I want it done by Friday so I can post it here ^_^

Itunes U

the guy on this lecture is talking about charges and static he says "if you take your top off and make your room dark standing infront of a mirror you get a good experience" hes talking about the static it creates but funny as hell as hes winking at people do it with a friend that's even more fun

and now hes beating someone with carpet to generate a spark to light a neon flash bulb that requires a few thousand volts to light it

I want to go university so much now ^_^

Revision

For the first time in my life, I want to revise.

Yet deep down I know I tell myself revision is pointless, It truly is I don't really learn anything by it and haven't learnt anything over the past 2 years I could have taken these exams 2years ago and still got the same results so it really has been a complete waste of my time. Now I'm not even sure I want to go to university, well I do want to go to university just not to do engineering, maybe In two months time I will definitely want to do engineering but I'm just not sure that's where I see myself in ten years time or even five, right now I want to experience the world before I settle down, I want to know what is in the world, what there is to do and what I enjoy, I have tried a lot in my life but realistically I haven't even reached one percent of what is really out there. I know I will never be able to see everything I won't live long enough, I just want enlightenment really, that will make me happy.

Its a shame the British schooling system is so bad and is very outdated since when would you in real life be set an essay to write in a set time limit in real life? I just think they should be applied to more realistic subjects and even layouts of exams should be changed, social skills are not taught nor is common sense two of the most important things needed in life. Also the British system does not give you very broad knowledge of the outside world you are just pushed into a box, well I don't like being forced into a box so I hope university is different.

SOMEONE SAVE ME!

Whats in a name?

I'm finding it hard to even bother coping with everything. To do like college work. I hate college I don't really enjoy my time there because I feel so alone. But then what would I do without it Its no lie I have hardly been this year but not solely because of hating it but because I have been unwell. I hate the idea of a routine I like to be able to do stuff as and when I want.

Work is pissing me off as well at the moment if im honest. Its sooooo bloody boring there is literally nothing to do, No customers, No stock to put out, Nothing to tidy so I stand around for 8 hours doing nothing. Then after the stores closed walk around and make it look like im tiding to satisfy my insane and rude manager.

I don't like procrastinating online but when there is interesting things to do online why wouldn't I? I fear that in a few years time everything will be so mundane and boring that I will just want to die. I like being random, I like being funny, I love being me. I just don't like the way the world is run. I hate college mostly because im so lonely but also because I only stayed because its what I had to do to go to university, the only thing I have always known I wanted to do, but now I feel like I have wasted two years of my life doing something I never really wanted to do, I realised it at the end of last educational year, but by then was too late to do anything about it, now the deadlines are so close and I just don't want to bother with anything I don't want to do anymore, but in the same sense I hate quitting, I have decided I will go to university if the offer still stands because of the reason I chose the foundation course in the first place, so I could see what university would be like without committing myself to a three year course. If I don't like it at the end of next year I can leave with something rather than nothing, if i had committed to the three year course and then dropped out....

But it leaves me with a problem should I leave at the end of next year and I think I should think about it now, I will need a job but I'm not one for working in a customer environment and would want a job within the creative industry so I need to start making a name for myself, I'm not sure how but im sure I will work it out soon....

yeah Its been on my mind alot recently and now I think I feel a million times better