Whats in a name?

I'm finding it hard to even bother coping with everything. To do like college work. I hate college I don't really enjoy my time there because I feel so alone. But then what would I do without it Its no lie I have hardly been this year but not solely because of hating it but because I have been unwell. I hate the idea of a routine I like to be able to do stuff as and when I want.

Work is pissing me off as well at the moment if im honest. Its sooooo bloody boring there is literally nothing to do, No customers, No stock to put out, Nothing to tidy so I stand around for 8 hours doing nothing. Then after the stores closed walk around and make it look like im tiding to satisfy my insane and rude manager.

I don't like procrastinating online but when there is interesting things to do online why wouldn't I? I fear that in a few years time everything will be so mundane and boring that I will just want to die. I like being random, I like being funny, I love being me. I just don't like the way the world is run. I hate college mostly because im so lonely but also because I only stayed because its what I had to do to go to university, the only thing I have always known I wanted to do, but now I feel like I have wasted two years of my life doing something I never really wanted to do, I realised it at the end of last educational year, but by then was too late to do anything about it, now the deadlines are so close and I just don't want to bother with anything I don't want to do anymore, but in the same sense I hate quitting, I have decided I will go to university if the offer still stands because of the reason I chose the foundation course in the first place, so I could see what university would be like without committing myself to a three year course. If I don't like it at the end of next year I can leave with something rather than nothing, if i had committed to the three year course and then dropped out....

But it leaves me with a problem should I leave at the end of next year and I think I should think about it now, I will need a job but I'm not one for working in a customer environment and would want a job within the creative industry so I need to start making a name for myself, I'm not sure how but im sure I will work it out soon....

yeah Its been on my mind alot recently and now I think I feel a million times better