No im not at work today because....

I feel like shit and just want to throw up,
I think it is the most boring job in the world, even if it pays well,
I hurt my bollocks and ribs in the period of the last 12 hours and have taken painkillers, which I very rarely do,
I need to think about stuff and have physiotherapy tomorrow which means I need to relax,
I have better stuff to do with my time,
Oh yeah and I think your a pillock.

*end of phone call*